Emotions

Not sure if it is normal or not after lap band, but I am going through an emotional phase.  It really isn't over food.  I don't even know what it is about.  I just feel down off and on.  I was on a lap band forum the other day and noticed that a few people had the same issue but they didn't go into any detail about it.  I tried to join a few Facebook groups but they were not active.  I'm just a little emotional.  It reminds me of pregnancy hormones that make you cry when a Hallmark commercial comes on during the Christmas season!  It isn't constant, just periodically.   

_________________________________________________________________

I have started eating cottage cheese, yogurt, sugar free pudding, slices of cheddar cheese, scrambled eggs and soft fruits. I feel hungry now all the time.  It is like I never get enough.  I felt restriction last week, but this week I feel nothing.  I have to be really careful now not to over eat.  I have an appointment with my doctor August 9th for my post op check up and possibly a fill to tighten the band. 

__________________________________



Back To Work!

I finally went back to work today in the emergency room.  I am glad to be back!  I love the ER and the people in it.  I have been off work since Monday July 16th.  I have missed everyone so much.  I like working. It gives me a purpose.  I will be working today through Sunday.  I am hoping that I am not over doing it by working four 12 hour shifts in a row! 

Now, what to eat today since I am not at home?  I did pack my "lunch".  Two protein drinks and some V8 Splash light.  I can have soups and very soft foods at this point. I noticed they have mashed potatos in the cafe today, so I might get some and see how that goes down. 

So far I have felt pretty good.  I did have some left shoulder pain this morning that got bad enough that I had to take something for it.  I feel better now.  No more shoulder pain.  My abdomen doesn't ache like it has been.  Maybe I am finally coming out of all that.  I can even breath deeply now. 

I am nine days post op... and I am doing wonderfully!  No complaints really, except for the left shoulder pain that comes and goes.  My doctor said I would have that for a little while.  It is normal after the type of hernia repair I had.  Pain medicine helps to curb the ache. 

Weight loss * Batman * Gay Marriage

I started the liquid diet on July 5th.  Today is July 26th, and I have lost 12 pounds already!!  I am super excited and super psyched to lose more!  


I am still on liquids, but I have graduated to thicker liquids such as soups and protein drinks that I blend with ice like a milk shake.  I can tell when I am full after only consuming 1/4 what I would have normally eaten.  It only takes a little bit now to satisfy my hunger.  It is the most amazing and wonderful thing I have experienced in a long while!  I feel like I have some sense of control now.  Food doesn't have to be my enemy anymore.


My friend Julie and I took a little day trip to Dallas, TX on Monday.  She has a lap band, too.  She had an appointment Monday with her lap band doctor to check out her band and get another fill.  They used an x-ray machine to make sure her lap band was working properly before inserting the long needle into the port in her abdomen.  It was quite interesting for me to watch!  Now, I have a better idea of how my first fill will be like.  


After we left her doctors office, we went to eat lunch.  I forget the name of the restaurant but it had the most amazing potato soup I have ever eaten!  OK, OK....  Maybe it was because I haven't had ANY real food in three weeks, but that soup was fucking amazing!!   I will have to ask Julie the name of that place and send the owner a thank you note!!  I ate it slowly, and after only 1/2 cup... I was full AND satisfied!  I was so excited that I said to Julie "OMG!! This band really works!" Then...we high fived!  People probably thought we were crazy!!  I don't care what people think... I was beyond happy!

______________________________________________

Last night I took my kids to see The Dark Knight Rises. It was fantastic!!  The best movie of the year in my opinion.  LOVED IT!!  Go see it!!  You will love it, too!

_______________________________________________

A topic that is very near and dear to my heart is gay marriage/gay rights.  I post meme's on my Facebook on a regular basis in support of  LGBT.  I have several gay/lesbian friends and they are some of the nicest, sweetest, most caring people I've ever had the pleasure of knowing.  I do not understand the hate that some groups/people have for others that are different or who have a different belief system than they do.  Aren't we all HUMAN?  Don't we all share this world TOGETHER?  

I have always and will always support the LGBT ( lesbian, gay, bi sexual, transgender) community.  Civil rights belong to everyone.  I will boycott Chick-Fil-A, and any other company that comes out against what I believe to be a violation of this communities civil rights.   

I am offended by people that are opposed to LGBT rights.  I don't see how it is any of their business what other people do in their lives.  It isn't hurting anyone.  ...and please, before you go off on how the bible says this, or the bible says that... the bible says a lot of things that modern Christian Americans don't follow.  Before you start spouting bible verses, why don't you start living everything that the bible teaches... but, no, you can't, can you? Yeah.  Didn't think so... 

Excerpt from this website:  http://www.11points.com/books/11_things_the_bible_bans,_but_you_do_anyway


Here are 11 things that are technically banned by the Bible. (All quotes are translations from the New American Standard Bible, but, because I'm actually trying to maintain serious journalistic integrity here, I cross-referenced several other translations to make sure I wasn't missing the point.)

1. This butt cut is a guaranteed one-way ticket to sin.

   Round haircuts. See you in Hell, Beatles... and/or kids with bowl cuts, surfer cuts or (my favorite) butt cuts. Leviticus 19:27 reads "You shall not round off the side-growth of your heads nor harm the edges of your beard."
2. Football. At least, the pure version of football, where you play with a pigskin. The modern synthetic footballs are ugly and slippery anyways. Leviticus 11:8, which is discussing pigs, reads "You shall not eat of their flesh nor touch their carcasses; they are unclean to you."
   
   And you're doubly breaking that if you wake up, eat some sausage then go throw around the football. Or go to the county fair and enter a greased pig catching contest.
3. Fortune telling. Before you call a 900 number (do people still call 900 numbers, by the way?), read your horoscope or crack open a fortune cookie, realize you're in huge trouble if you do.
   
   Leviticus 19:31 reads "Do not turn to mediums or spiritists; do not seek them out to be defiled by them. I am the Lord your God." The penalty for that? Check Leviticus 20:6: "As for the person who turns to mediums and to spiritists, to play the harlot after them, I will also set My face against that person and will cut him off from among his people."
   
   Seems like a lifetime of exile is a pretty harsh penalty for talking to Zoltar.
4. Pulling out. The Bible doesn't get too much into birth control... it's clearly pro-populating but, back when it was written, no one really anticipated the condom or the sponge, so those don't get specific bans.
   
   But... pulling out does. One of the most famous sexual-oriented Bible verses... the one that's used as anti-masturbation rhetoric... is actually anti-pulling out.
   
   It's Genesis 38:9-10: "Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so when he went in to his brother's wife, he wasted his seed on the ground in order not to give offspring to his brother. But what he did was displeasing in the sight of the Lord; so He took his life also."
   
   Yep -- pull out and get smote. That's harsh.

5. Banned.

   Tattoos. No tattoos. Leviticus 19:28 reads, "You shall not make any cuts in your body for the dead nor make any tattoo marks on yourselves: I am the Lord."
   
   Not even a little butterfly on your ankle. Or Thug Life across your abdomen. Or even, fittingly enough, a cross.
6. Polyester, or any other fabric blends. The Bible doesn't want you to wear polyester. Not just because it looks cheap. It's sinfully unnatural.
   
   Leviticus 19:19 reads, "You are to keep My statutes. You shall not breed together two kinds of your cattle; you shall not sow your field with two kinds of seed,nor wear a garment upon you of two kinds of material mixed together."
   
   Check the tag on your shirt right now. Didn't realize you were mid-sin at this exact second, did you? (Unless you checked the tag by rolling off your neighbor's wife while you two were having anal sex in the middle of robbing a blind guy. Then your Lycra-spandex blend is really the least of your problems.)
7. Divorce. The Bible is very clear on this one: No divorcing. You can't do it. Because when you marry someone, according to Mark 10:8, you "are no longer two, but one flesh." And, Mark 10:9 reads, "What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate."
   
   Mark gets even more hardcore about it a few verses later, in Mark 10:11-12, "And He said to them, 'Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her; and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery.'"
8. Letting people without testicles into church. Whether you've been castrated or lost one or two balls to cancer isn't important. The Bible doesn't get that specific. It just says you can't pray.
   
   Deuteronomy 23:1 reads (this is the God's Word translation, which spells it out better), "A man whose testicles are crushed or whose penis is cut off may never join the assembly of the Lord."
   
   Oh, and the next verse says that if you're a bastard, the child of a bastard... or even have a great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandchild of a bastard, you can't come to church or synagogue either. Deuteronomy 23:2 reads, "No one of illegitimate birth shall enter the assembly of the Lord; none of his descendants, even to the tenth generation, shall enter the assembly of the Lord."
9. Wearing gold. 1 Timothy 2:9 doesn't like your gold necklace at all. Or your pearl necklace. Or any clothes you're wearing that you didn't get from Forever 21, Old Navy or H&M.
   
   "Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly,not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments."

10. Lobster, shrimp and clam chowder: All banned.

    Shellfish. Leviticus 11:10 reads, "But whatever is in the seas and in the rivers that does not have fins and scales among all the teeming life of the water, and among all the living creatures that are in the water, they are detestable things to you." And shellfish is right in that wheelhouse.
    
    Leviticus 11 bans a TON of animals from being eaten (it's THE basis for Kosher law); beyond shellfish and pig, it also says you can't eat camel, rock badger, rabbit, eagle, vulture, buzzard, falcon, raven, crow, ostrich, owl, seagull, hawk, pelican, stork, heron, bat, winged insects that walk on four legs unless they have joints to jump with like grasshoppers (?), bear, mole, mouse, lizard, gecko, crocodile, chameleon and snail.
    
    Sorry if that totally ruins your plans to go to a rock badger eat-off this weekend.
11. Your wife defending your life in a fight by grabbing your attacker's genitals. No joke. Deuteronomy actually devotes two verses to this exact scenario: Deuteronomy 25:11-12.
    
    "If two men, a man and his countryman, are struggling together, and the wife of one comes near to deliver her husband from the hand of the one who is striking him, and puts out her hand and seizes his genitals, then you shall cut off her hand; you shall not show pity."   

You can't just pick and choose what you want to believe and practice out of the bible.  It's all or nothing people!!  


 This is how I feel.  Take me, or leave me...  

Day 4 Post Op

I made it to Friday!  Yay me!  Four days post op!  I can now move around better and eat soup that has been thinned out with skim milk or water.  I was able to take a shower last night.  Let me tell you... when you can't shower for 48 hours, you really miss it and it is a special thing when you finally get to shower!  I have been sleeping in my own bed for two nights now.  I didn't realise how much I took my bed for granted!  I love my bed!

My incisions still burn and ache, but it is better today than yesterday.  My left upper quad still hurts because of the hernia repair but, the pain is more of a runners stitch in my side instead of the deep ache that was there before in my side and my shoulder. 

I have been doing really well consuming my "food".  Drinking sips of water and thinned out creamy chicken soup.  I have lost three pounds since surgery. Now I am at 250.  That is  three pounds I will never have to deal with again!!  Gone... just gone!  YAY!!! 
Only 50 more to go before I am in "Wonderland".  My mom said this is when lap banders get under 200 pounds. I cannot wait to be in Wonderland!  Maybe I will get a big tattoo of Alice on my bum!  ***Just kidding mom!!***

I am starting to get cabin fever.  I have done a whole lot of nothing for 4 days. 

If I am up to it, I may try to get out of the house a bit on Monday.  I need to get out and try to get some sort of normal life again.  I go back to work next Friday. 

Lap Band Photos

This is what the lap band looks like before they place it 

This is what the lap band looks like after being placed

I'm With The Band!!

July 17, 2012 was the big day!  I finally got my lap band placed.  I am so happy I cannot express it in words!


The day started by waking up (duh...) and showering with a special soap that kills bacteria on the skin.  I did not wear make up (shock!) and wore my hair in a pony tail (not a shock).  I wore my favorite pair of yoga pants and a shirt.  I will really miss those yoga pants when I shrink down and they get too big. 


My mom drove me to the hospital.  We walked up to the 3rd floor day surgery area and I checked in.  I got a bracelet and  my mom got a pager.  The same type of pager that you get at restaurants.  When her pager went off it would mean that she could come back to the room and sit with me.   


I got an IV, blood drawn, blood pressure taken and pulse ox checked.  I passed everything and was told to gown up.  I also had to wipe off my body with some sort of solution that killed bacteria.  As soon as I was done using it, I broke out in a full body rash that made me feel as though I was on FIRE!  It was itchy, too!!  Terrible reaction!  It subsided within 30 minutes.      I was given Ted Hose to put on my legs to help prevent blood clots.  Those suckers are so difficult to put on!!  They are super tight and you have to use all of your might to get them up to your thighs.  I was worn out!


The surgeon came in and told me she would get to me in about an hour.  She had a surgery in front of me.  I passed the time by reading my book or talking to my mom or scratching the remainder of the rash.  Our TV was not working so a man had to come fix it.  We watched some news shows, but nothing interesting was being reported.  


Finally, it was my turn for surgery!!  The anesthesiology team came in and gave me something in my IV...but I forgot to ask what it was.  I would guess it was versed.  Versed is used before surgery to decrease anxiety and cause a drowsy effect.  


After saying bye to my mom, I was wheeled down the hall to the OR.  That OR was freezing!!!  They make you get up on a cold stainless steel table and strap your arms and legs down.  I remember the sleep drugs going in...and everything got really blurry...and then I found myself waking up in recovery!  


In recovery, I was sick to my stomach so they gave me zofran.      The zofran really helped.  Zofran was originally developed for use in cancer patients but it works so well that they use it for any patient now.  I also got a toradol shot to help with pain.  I felt much better after that. They also gave me lovenox to help prevent blood clots in the legs. 


 My recovery nurse was really nice.  I cannot remember her name, though.  I like to remember names because if they made an impression on me I like to send emails to their supervisors praising their employees for a job well done. I did see one of my old ER buddies in the recovery room working!    Always nice to see a familiar face!  



After I got out of the first recovery room, I was sent to another recovery room.  My mom came in and we discussed what the doctor had told her.  The surgery was only supposed to be a simple lap band placement and the repair of a minor hiatal hernia, but it turned into a major repair because the hernia was bigger than we anticipated.  No wonder I was sick all the time with heart burn, nausea and vomiting!  I was going to go back to work on Friday but I had to take the weekend off because of the surgery turning into something more major.  Thank goodness I have work friends that agreed to work my shifts for me!  Thank you Susan and Debbie!


I have had a lot of post op pain.  Mainly in my left shoulder area.  I have what is called referred shoulder pain.  That means that the actual sight of injury or surgical site is in one place, but you feel the pain in your shoulder.  Mine is from the hernia repair.  It throbs and aches and I haven't been able to get comfortable.  I have been up nearly all night with this pain.  The only thing that seems to help at all  is my hot rice sock placed over my neck and shoulder area.  


I am still on liquids.  Joy!!


Days 1-3:  room temp water, room temp chicken broth
Days 4 - 14:  hot or cold liquids as tolerated such as sugar free Popsicles,  Slim Fast made with skim milk, Gator-aid, low fat thinned creamy soups and low sodium V8 juice. 


I did not take any pictures at the hospital.  I meant to, but I never got around to doing it.  So, sorry about that!  


Stay tuned for weight loss updates.  I was not going to post my starting weight, but I do not think it would do much good to tell how much I have lost if you guys don't know where I started.  So just for your information and so you will know where I started out on this journey to Skinnyland....


I am 5'9 1/2 and today I weighed in at the hospital pre surgery at 253lbs.  















   

16 MORE HOURS!!

It's 5:56pm on Monday evening and I am counting down the hours until I check into the hospital!   I feel like a child on Christmas Eve!  I can still hear my mom saying "The faster you go to sleep, the faster Santa will come."

Tomorrow I will take a few photos.  Stay tuned!

48 Hours Until Surgery!!

I am counting down the hours, folks!  My excitement is building and I can hardly contain myself.  I am at work today, passing the time by keeping busy.  I don't know what I will do Monday.  I guess I will have to sleep part of the day and read my book the rest of the day so I won't notice the time creeping along. 

I have to be at the hospital by 7:30am Tuesday.  I am not sure when the actual surgery will take place.  I don't think that I will have to stay over night as I had previously thought I would.  My insurance has changed the requirements for the lap band procedure.  It will be nice to not have to spend the night in a hospital room with nurses waking me up every three hours for a temperature reading and blood pressure check! 

I picked up my (after lap band) prescriptions Friday.  Hydrocodone for pain, phenergan for nausea and a transderm scop patch for nausea to place behind my ear for three days.  The hydrocodone and the phenergan are liquids since I will be unable to have any solids for about 6 weeks or more after surgery.  I won't be able to swallow a pill. 

My wrist tattoo is healing nicely.  It is scabbed over now.  Still red, but not swollen.  I'm keeping it clean and dry just like you're supposed to.  It is going to look so cute when it is healed!  Then... on to the next tattoo!
My poor mother probably thinks my goal is to join a side show as the tattooed lady!!

Book Recomendations

Book Recomendations

What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty 

Summary from website: 

Employing the old amnesia trick from countless novels and films, Liane Moriarty's What Alice Forgot (Amy Einhorn) centers on a woman who goes to the gym, hits her head, and loses all memory of the past decade, which was apparently quite eventful: While Alice wakes up thinking she's 29, deliriously happy in her marriage and newly pregnant, in fact she's a 39-year-old mother of three in the midst of a hideous divorce. What happened? Alice tries to piece it together with the help of her sister, whose own past is so riddled with loss that she might welcome some amnesia herself. Funny and knowing, especially about the details of domesticity, this agile novel is also a light-handed look at what we choose to remember, and fight to forget.

Before I Die by Jenny Downham

Summary from website: 

Tessa has just months to live. Fighting back against hospital visits, endless tests, drugs with excruciating side-effects, Tessa compiles a list. It’s her To Do Before I Die list. And number one is Sex. Released from the constraints of ‘normal’ life, Tessa tastes new experiences to make her feel alive while her failing body struggles to keep up. Tessa’s feelings, her relationships with her father and brother, her estranged mother, her best friend, and her new boyfriend, all are painfully crystallised in the precious weeks before Tessa’s time finally runs out.

Last Lap Band Appointments * Birthday

Tuesday, July 10, 2012 was my last lap band appointment before surgery.  I was weighed, photographed and given a special post surgery diet to follow.  

I absolutely love my doctor and all of the staff at Precision Surgery. If you are thinking about lap band surgery, please consider Dr. Keilin in Texarkana, Texas.  She is an amazingly sweet and charming person.  She is very kind and caring.  She has always made me feel welcome in her  office.  She is funny and vibrant and cute as a bug.  She did my mothers lap band in December of 2011 and my mom has never had a problem and has lost 60 pounds so far!  

Surgery is July 17, 2012!!!!
I have to be at St. Michaels at 7:30am.

_________________________________________________________________________

Wednesday, July 11, 2012:  MY BIRTHDAY!! 

How did I celebrate my birthday since I was forbidden cake?  Well, I got a tattoo on my inner wrist...that's how!

I would like to say a special thank you to Sandy at Dermagraphic Studio for the cool little white love heart she tattooed on me today.  I ADORE IT!! 

...and here it is.

A special thank you to my friend James for the Books A Million gift card.  What a thoughtful gift!!  Thank you, James :-)


Thank you to my friend Julie for the candle wax warmer.  I put it in my bathroom and added a Scentsy square.  It smells so nice in there!  Thank you, Julie!  (((hugs)))

_____________________________________________________________________

Thursday, July, 12, 2012 I will be going to St. Michael hospital to take care of my pre-surgery registration paperwork and blood work.  

Then... SURGERY!!!  I am so ready!!

Wrist tattoo

Getting this for my birthday....only in white ink so that it is subtle.

Will show photos after it is done!!

Upper Back Tattoo Idea

I think I found my upper back tattoo!!  What do you guys think?

The cover up, not the before picture

Lower Back Tattoo Idea

I think that this is going to be my lower back tattoo.  It will be in memory of my Nana.  She passed away 10 years ago.  

She had a large painting in her living room of magnolia blossoms and she also collected bird figurines.  When I saw this drawing I just knew it was the one.  It reminded me of her.  She was a huge part of my life and taught me so much.  I miss her!!  She was the only person that understood me and loved me no matter what.  

It measures about 8 inches tall by 11 inches long. 

Insurance

Day 2 of liquid diet and I've hit a few pot holes on the road to Skinnyland.  Insurance troubles.  My insurance started over for the year on July 1st.  My deductable went up and the doctors office isn't sure where I can have the surgery because it has to be at a Center of Exellence for Bariatric Surgery hospital.  Not sure if Wadley Hospital is anymore. 

Story of my life.  Trouble pops up everywhere.  Usually I pull right on through it and come out on the other side just fine... Im hoping this is one of those situations.

Update:  I waited half the day to hear from Wadley about whether my insurance would pay to have the surgery there. The lady finally called me around 2 and told me that my insurance would not pay for me to have the surgery there.  She said she had spoken to my insurance company and they said the nearest hospital they would pay for was in Tyler, Texas.  I would also have to find a new doctor in Tyler and START OVER!!!  As you can imagine I was heart broken. NO... My soul was crushed.  I was so upset I couldn't stop shaking and I felt faint.  I called my mom and told her the bad news.


I called my surgeons office to cancel my surgery.  I spoke to Betty May, the lap band coordinator for my surgeons office.  She was very upset that the lady from Wadley had called me and said that I had to go to Tyler.  Betty May assured me that everything was still ON and that St. Michaels was covered under my insurance plan.  I was so relieved.  I told Betty May that the last 45 minutes had been some of the worst minutes of my life!  This surgery means everything to me.  


Surgery is still ON...although I nearly died from a heart attack thinking that I wasn't getting the surgery!  I am still a little shaken up over it...even though everything is fine now.


I seriously need a stiff drink... Technically, Jack and Coke IS a liquid... 


Just kidding ;-)

July 5, 2012: The Journey Has Begun!!

I stayed up late last night (3am)   and slept in this morning (12 noon!!)

OK...so I did that on purpose so I could sleep through half of the first day of the liquid diet.  Hey...I'm not ashamed!  I'm weak! LOL  I know this will be rough, but I am committed... I just needed to avoid it a little while longer.  I am up now though and I have already had the first of three EAS Advant Edge protein drinks.

My kids think it is funny that I can't eat solid food.  So far this morning they have told me about the ribs in the fridge, the hamburgers that my dad grilled, and the potato chips.  ALL of which they ATE IN FRONT OF ME chewing dramatically and loudly, just out of my reach... SMART KIDS.  But, they have to sleep sometime.... ***evil laugh*** Muuuaaaahahahahah!!!

For dinner I will have my other two protein drinks and a cup of chicken broth.  Mmmm Mmmmmmm!
"I can hardly wait," she said sarcastically.

Follow me on Twitter:  @WendyUnBrOkEn

Liquid Diet

Wondering what I can have on my liquid diet?  

• Carb free, sugar free protein shakes. There are about 17g of protein per shake.
• Crystal light.  
• Low sodium chicken broth
• Low sodium beef broth
• Diet Snapple
• Water
• Unsweet tea
• Sugar free Jello
• Small salads after day 3 (once a day)

My mother went through this in November of 2011.  Her band was placed in December of 2011.  Since then, she has lost almost 60 pounds!  I am going to be relying  on her to get me through this liquid diet phase.  I am thankful to have someone to support me.  


I know that the first few days will be difficult.  I will be working some of those days in the ER.  Someone is always having a birthday or a doctor is bringing donuts.  I will have to really keep control of myself.  I am serious about losing weight and I want to do whatever is necessary to accomplish my goal.   


I have heard that some people lose up to 15 pounds while on the 2 week liquid diet.  I think my mom did.  That would be nice to have a 15 pound head start on the band.  

Me: July 4th, 2012 (Before Photos)

4th of July, 2012
Day before starting liquid diet for the lap band  procedure

4th of July, 2012

My "last meal"
On The Border Mexican food
I had three enchiladas, chips and salsa and a Dr. Pepper

4th of July, 2012
On The Border
"Last meal"

4th of July
Me and my daughter, Caitlin
I am 35, but will be 36 on July 11th. Caitie is 8.