Rant * Vegas * Song I like

The time is just not passing fast enough for my taste.  I'm at work and time is at a damn stand still. I just want to get out of here and go do other things.  The ER was relatively quiet all morning, then all hell broke loose.  I swear I ran my ass off in an hour chasing 6 ambulances! So now I am in the monitor room and I am just restless.  I feel like I need to go outside and run a mile.  

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I have a new book I want to read from tonight.  It is like a "get to know you" book of questions.  I don't know if he enjoys reading all the questions as much as I do, but I find that I learn a lot about him when we play question and answer games.   

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Did you know that you can go to Las Vegas  for under $1,000 for two people...and that is a round trip flight and a popular hotel on the strip for three nights?! There are a lot of things to do there that are free, too!  Just walking the strip and sight seeing would be awesome.  I have friends in Vegas I could go visit, also!  I bet Vegas is an experience!  I want to go SOOOO bad!!!! I'd want to go to at least one show, and one bar!  I could really people watch there!  

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COME ON TIME... FINALLY IT'S 4PM.  Come on 6:45!!!!  

I am so over this ER today!!  I am so over working weekends.

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I love this song:  Cyclone by  Baby Bash featuring T-Pain

LOVEEEE it!!

Lap Band Fill * Bills * Pat

Tuesday, October 23rd, I got another lap band fill.  Just 1/2 a cc.  I think I have 3 1/2 cc now. I get excited about the needle.  I guess I am weird.  I crave tattoos, also.  
That  1/2 cc was enough, though, to make all the difference.  I can now tell that I have restriction.  I cannot eat very much, but I can drink plenty.  I should start seeing the weight come off faster now.  I've already lost 20 pounds since surgery in July. I've gone down a jeans size!  Boobs are still the same size.  I wish they would shrink, too.  But, they never do.  

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I hate bills.  I hate them.  I know that is part of being an adult and all, but damn.  My car insurance that I pay quarterly is 377 bucks!!  That seems ridiculous to me. All I have is a 2008 Ford Escape and a 2000 Ford Taurus. It's not like I am driving around in a damn Corvette.  I have Ark Farm Bureau insurance, in case you were wondering.  

My paycheck was short this time...they didn't pay me for the days I was in Hot Springs like they were supposed to.  At least I have child support to fall back on. Well, at least I hope it comes.  I never know.  I need to win the lotto so I don't have to worry about things like this anymore.  Guess I should play the lotto to have a chance though ha ha

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Pat and I are doing great!  He's still a sweetheart.  If I am going to have a guy in my life,  I couldn't ask for a better one.  He is so funny, and we laugh all the time.  Humor is very important to me.  We talk and joke around and he is nice and we seem to have a mutual respect for one another.  

We went shopping the other day and he picked out a new bedding set.  A very pretty blue comforter set.  I think he has decided to go with a boating theme in his room since he is into boats.  

He also picked out a few things for his living room to decorate the walls.  {Let it be known that I didn't MAKE him buy this stuff nor did I suggest it, it was  his idea and he wanted this stuff!}


He has his son this weekend.  Cute kid.  Polite and talkative.  
I'm working, like always, so they are on their own to do lots of boy stuff.  Have fun guys!

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Weighed in

I weighed in this morning... 233 pounds baby!!!!  I am so proud of myself!!!  Went down a size in jeans, too!!!   Hell YEAH!

I am so sleepy right now, writing this blog is making me tear up.  I am working night shift in the ER.  I didn't get enough sleep.  I cannot wait to just go home, sit under a hot shower, and then go to bed.

     

  

2nd Fill Monday Sept 24th (Lap Band)

I was so excited to get another fill in my band Monday,  I arrived at the doctor office 30 minutes early!  Checked in and filled out my worksheet on my eating habits and waited... 

After being called back, Dr. Keilin came in right away.  She was quick, poking that needle right in and giving me 2 more cc's of fluid.  At this point I had 4 cc's total in a 10 cc band.  She gave me a cup of water to drink and I drank it and I went home.

Two hours later:

...Can't drink anything, can't eat anything, can't even take a deep breath! The band was too tight. I coughed all night for two nights (this is a symptom of the band being too tight), vomited up what little water I was able to drink and had a feeling in my gut like there was a vice grip on my stomach.  I didn't want to race back up to the office, so I toughed it out...for 2 1/2 DAYS!!!  I was starting to get a headache and a dry mouth.  I knew I was dehydrating fast.  I finally called the office and told them what was going on.  They told me to come in at 3 pm to get unfilled. They had to call in a nurse to do it because the doctors were out of town.  When I got there, they rushed me right to the back and weighed me.  I had lost 6 pounds of water weight from not being able to drink for 2 and a half days.  WOW!  The nurse removed 1 cc of fluid and that made all the difference in the world!  I was able to drink!!!  ...I drank a lot that day; water never tasted so good.  I had to re-hydrate! Now, I have 3 cc's in a 10 cc band and I seem to be doing great now.  With the band, it is just trial and error.  You add liquid for restriction, and take it back out if it is too restrictive until you reach your "sweet spot". 

NO PHOTOS * THE FAIR

I haven't lost anymore weight, so there will be no pictures this month.  Sorry to everyone that looks forward to them. 

 I get another fill in my band Monday Sept. 24 at 10:40am.  Maybe that will help.  I was told by my sleep specialist that I am not losing weight because of my mixed (or complex) sleep apnea disorder and chronic fatigue syndrome.  When I finally get that under control and have enough fluid in the band I will start to loose weight.  

My sleep disorder is just so profound, plus I also have  chronic fatigue syndrome . I am just a wreck.  I am sure it will take a while to regulate my sleep schedule.  I still feel very weak and sleepy at all times.  I really hate this.  It ruins everything in my life.  Everything I do is such an effort for me.  I have to work three times as hard as everyone else to do the most basic things.  There are CFS medications my doctor will try me on if I continue to be weak and sick.  

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My friends Ashley and Lori and I went to the Four States Fair and Rodeo last night.  The hospital that I work for does an annual employee appreciation day.  This year they held it at the fair.  I was able to get in for free and take up to three guests for free. We also were able to eat for free and ride the rides for free. I love Christus St. Michael!! 

The three of us had the best time out there last night.  We ate some BBQ, funnel cakes and lemonade.  Ashley and Lori talked me into riding some rides.  I never ride rides.  I am a chicken shit and I feel that fair rides are very unsafe.  Ashley said I needed to live a little and come out of my shell.  So, I rode a few with her.  It ended up being quite fun and exciting and I survived it.  I do feel like I have been run over by a truck this morning, though.  I had a death grip on all of the rides, so I am sure my muscles are sore because of that.  I am sleepy, cold,  nauseous  and super fatigued, too.  I just want to go back to bed.  The fair wore my ass out!! When I get off work tonight I plan to just crash into my bed and not move for 9 hours.  

* CPAP * Sleep Apnea *

I wasn't going to blog about this, but I think I need to just in case there is ever someone reading this blog who may not know they are suffering with sleep apnea. Sleep apnea usually cannot be cured, but it can be managed with a machine called a CPAP (continuous positive air pressure).  I know I have mentioned my sleep issues before, but now I have finally been given a device to help me achieve the re-cooperative sleep I need in order to lead a fulfilling and productive life.  My risk for stroke and heart disease is greatly reduced, as is my risk to die in my sleep from cardiac arrest.  Yes, sleep apnea is very serious and can be deadly.  

Since getting my machine a week ago, I have already had to exchange my mask for a new one because I hated the one they gave me to start out with.  Why they thought I would like a nasal mask is beyond me.  Talk about uncomfortable! It is a small mask that fits just over your nose area.  If you are a nose only breather and never open your mouth when you breath then that mask would probably be just fine for you.  If you do open your mouth at night for any reason, even to speak, the air comes down and around your nasal cavity and shoots very forcefully out of your mouth! It also makes a loud hissing sound.  It reminded me of what I would think a fire breathing dragon would sound like!  My kids thought it was quite hilarious that air shot out of my mouth, so much so that my daughter even tried the mask on herself and pretended to be a dragon. 

Today I took the nasal mask back to the store and exchanged it for a full mask.  It covers the nose and mouth area.  Now when I open my mouth, I won't be the dragon lady!!  

My new mask is for women.  It is pink!!  
Here is a photo of the mask I got today.  No, it is not pretty and it is not attractive to wear it, it isn't sexy or appealing in any way, but if I don't wear it when I sleep, I cannot breath. My brain doesn't tell me to breath and I wake up 100 times an hour. Yes, an hour.  I literally stop breathing.  I could DIE. I probably will never date again LOL  

There is continuous air being forced through the mask and into your lungs to keep you breathing and alive.  At first it is like trying to breath in a hurricane.  You get used to it and then you can sleep.  Once you are asleep, you don't even wake up.  I now am able to go into REM sleep (something I haven't done in a long time) and I am able to dream again (people dream while in REM sleep). I have had some really trippy dreams this past week.  From nightmares about my kids dying, to getting married to an old boyfriend. They have been super vivid and realistic. 

I have been so long (years) without true sleep that I forgot how good sleep can make you feel.  I can already tell that my neck and back don't hurt as much as they previously did.  I am still in some pain but, not in horrible pain.  I could just be in some weird honeymoon phase of treatment where I get temporary relief from symptoms in the beginning and then the pain comes back later. I sure hope that isn't the case here.  Being in constant chronic pain and having constant debilitating fatigue really diminishes a persons quality of life. I have been literally spending Monday - Wednesday in bed just laying there.  Going to work required bottles of 5 hour energy drinks, caffeine pills, and coffee just to function.  I hope those days are over!

Sleep apnea is actually more common than you would think.  A lot of people have it and have no idea that they have it. 

Approximately one in every five adults has sleep apnea!! 

There are three types of sleep apnea:

1. Obstructive sleep apnea (OSA)

• The most common type of sleep apnea; occurs when your upper airway closes but your efforts to breathe continue
• Upper airway obstruction caused usually by lack of muscle tone during sleep, extra upper airway tissue and/or anatomical abnormalities in the upper airway and jaw

2. Central sleep apnea (CSA)

• Occurs when your breathing stops but your airway is open
• Results from the body's failure to breathe automatically. It's as if a short circuit prevents the brain from keeping the respiratory system functioning properly

3. Mixed apnea

• A mixture of both OSA and CSA

Here are the symptoms that are easiest to identify without diagnostic testing:

• Excessive sleepiness (use the Epworth Sleepiness Scale to evaluate your sleepiness)
• Snoring (people with OSA usually snore but not always)
• Witnessed apneas or irregular breathing during sleep (gasping, long pauses, etc – a spouse or partner may notice these)
• Impaired concentration
• Impaired memory
• Morning headaches
• Sexual dysfunction

High blood pressure (hypertension) and decreased blood oxygen levels are common symptoms for people with sleep apnea, but these are not easily detected. 

If you think you might have sleep apnea, I urge you to seek help!  It could literally mean the difference between life and death. 

For more information about sleep apnea please visit the Mayo Clinic website. 

Peacock Tattoo

I must be crazy to even think about this, but I was thinking when I lose more weight I might have to get this on my right upper arm. I want to put tropical flowers around it and grasses and butterflies. I guess it will end up being kind of a half sleeve but not the type that wraps around to the under side of the arm.  I think this is so pretty.  Leave me some comments with other ideas if you have them!