New photos to show weight loss. 12-23-2012

Julie Smith and I at Shooters (a local bar)

Me before going to Shooters

Every time I lose weight, my cheek bones stick out like they are in the photo.  I think it looks odd.  

Full body shot.  I am down to 229 pounds now!  At surgery in July 2012 I was 253.  

Life is good!!

It's finally December 1st!  I love winter!  I love the cold crisp air, the cold nights and the smell of fireplaces burning aged logs.  I love sweaters and jackets and jeans.  But, my favorite thing is cuddling up under a blanket.  I am addicted to blankets and collect them.  I don't collect them on purpose, really, I just seem to acquire a lot of them. I always feel my best in winter.  Winter in Texas is too short and the summers too long.  I need to be up north somewhere!



I am still not losing weight.  I don't know what the deal is.  I eat, but not very much.  That is probably why I stay the same.  My body probably feels like I am starving.  I just cannot eat very much and I am never hungry.  What I do manage to eat is always a very small portion and I usually get "stuck".  If I get stuck I have to throw it back up.  Getting stuck is the most painful feeling.  I've never had a heart attack, but I can imagine it is a pain somewhat like that.  Deep chest pain, radiates to my jaw and arms and middle back.  Nothing helps except to throw up.  So, my body is probably holding onto the fat, just in case.  I am sure that at some point I will lose weight...even anorexics lose weight and they don't eat anything. I am losing inches, though.  My jeans are bigger.  I don't understand how that works.  No matter how many times I research it, it makes no sense to me to get smaller, yet weigh the same.  I am  not really working out, either.  So, someone explain this to me!

Work in the ER has been very good.  I sure do enjoy my job here and my co workers!  I couldn't ask for better people to spend my weekends with.  I have to work on Christmas, though.  That kind of sucks, but that is just the type of job I have.  The sick and injured don't stop being sick and injured just because it's a holiday.  My work family will probably throw together a pot luck lunch and we will celebrate the day together.  

Hope everyone has a great December!

Twilight * cpap * lap band * Christmas

It's been a while since I have blogged, and I am sorry for that.  Life has been busy and active lately.  

I went to the Breaking Dawn 2 opening night Thursday 11/15/12.  WOW!  Just WOW.  That is all I can really say.  It was by far the best Twilight Saga movie, and the last.  *Cry*  I went with some friends and we all dressed up in our Twilight shirts and sprayed glitter on ourselves.  I am a nerd. I know. Breaking Dawn 2 trailer 

Lap band is still going well.  Still unable to eat a lot, which is good.  But, I am really not losing weight as quickly as I would like.  I am currently at a stand still.  I am just impatient and want to be thin NOW.  I am down to 233.  Started at 253, I think, day of surgery (July 17th).  

I had to change cpap masks again.  I could not get the other mask to seal off and stop leaking.  This new one is so much better and seals off well.  I am able to sleep through the night, finally.  I still do not like that I have to wear the mask every night, but I guess that is better than dying in my sleep.  
The new mask is a mirage quattro.  It fits my face better and feels light.  

Thanksgiving is next week.  My kids and I are going with Pat to his moms house.  It will be the first real holiday we spend together.  I will not be able to eat a lot, but I am going to try.  I have to save room for the desserts, though.  Hey, it's Thanksgiving...I am going to splurge a little.  I am only human, after all.  Who can turn down pumpkin pie?  Not this lady!!

 Does anyone else think it is just too soon for Christmas lights on houses and trees up in stores?  My favorite radio station 93.3 switched to 100% Christmas music last week!! Now I am listening to 95.9 and it is great!  It isn't even Thanksgiving yet!  I am sick of Christmas already.  I am ready for it to be OVER.  I am off Christmas Eve (which is when I celebrate) but, I have to work Christmas day...so it will just be another day for me. I am sure the ER will have a pot luck lunch, though.  I need to figure out what I am going to bring.  

Hodge Podge

“Falling in love is very real, but I used to shake my head when people talked about soul mates, poor deluded individuals grasping at some supernatural ideal not intended for mortals but sounded pretty in a poetry book. Then, we met, and everything changed, the cynic has become the converted, the skeptic  an ardent zealot.” 
― E.A. Bucchianeri, Brushstrokes of a Gadfly

_____________________________________________________________________________

I want this Shakespeare quote tattooed on me. 

"These violent delights have violent ends

And in their triumph die, like fire and powder,

Which, as they kiss, consume."

_____________________________________________________________________

So, I am having trouble eating again.  Food that gets stuck one day, goes down fine the next.  I don't know what to do about it.  I have tried drinking hot coffee before eating to loosen up the band, but it doesn't seem to help at all.  

I had a pork chop one night, and it was fine, then the next day I tried to eat another one and it got stuck and I hurt so badly I had to throw up.  

I went to my friend Regina's baby shower and ate like a pig.  Nothing got stuck!  I ate BBQ wienies and cheese and a huge cup cake!!  I even went back for seconds and still had no issues.  I don't understand why some times I can eat and some times I can't.

____________________________________________

Impatience [ɪmˈpeɪʃəns]

n

1. lack of patience; intolerance of or irritability with anything that impedes or delays

2. restless desire for change and excitement

This is SO me.  I have no idea how to stop being so impatient!  Help me before I go insane LOL

Rant * Vegas * Song I like

The time is just not passing fast enough for my taste.  I'm at work and time is at a damn stand still. I just want to get out of here and go do other things.  The ER was relatively quiet all morning, then all hell broke loose.  I swear I ran my ass off in an hour chasing 6 ambulances! So now I am in the monitor room and I am just restless.  I feel like I need to go outside and run a mile.  

______________________________________

I have a new book I want to read from tonight.  It is like a "get to know you" book of questions.  I don't know if he enjoys reading all the questions as much as I do, but I find that I learn a lot about him when we play question and answer games.   

______________________________________

Did you know that you can go to Las Vegas  for under $1,000 for two people...and that is a round trip flight and a popular hotel on the strip for three nights?! There are a lot of things to do there that are free, too!  Just walking the strip and sight seeing would be awesome.  I have friends in Vegas I could go visit, also!  I bet Vegas is an experience!  I want to go SOOOO bad!!!! I'd want to go to at least one show, and one bar!  I could really people watch there!  

_______________________________________

COME ON TIME... FINALLY IT'S 4PM.  Come on 6:45!!!!  

I am so over this ER today!!  I am so over working weekends.

________________________________________

I love this song:  Cyclone by  Baby Bash featuring T-Pain

LOVEEEE it!!

Lap Band Fill * Bills * Pat

Tuesday, October 23rd, I got another lap band fill.  Just 1/2 a cc.  I think I have 3 1/2 cc now. I get excited about the needle.  I guess I am weird.  I crave tattoos, also.  
That  1/2 cc was enough, though, to make all the difference.  I can now tell that I have restriction.  I cannot eat very much, but I can drink plenty.  I should start seeing the weight come off faster now.  I've already lost 20 pounds since surgery in July. I've gone down a jeans size!  Boobs are still the same size.  I wish they would shrink, too.  But, they never do.  

_______________________________________

I hate bills.  I hate them.  I know that is part of being an adult and all, but damn.  My car insurance that I pay quarterly is 377 bucks!!  That seems ridiculous to me. All I have is a 2008 Ford Escape and a 2000 Ford Taurus. It's not like I am driving around in a damn Corvette.  I have Ark Farm Bureau insurance, in case you were wondering.  

My paycheck was short this time...they didn't pay me for the days I was in Hot Springs like they were supposed to.  At least I have child support to fall back on. Well, at least I hope it comes.  I never know.  I need to win the lotto so I don't have to worry about things like this anymore.  Guess I should play the lotto to have a chance though ha ha

__________________________________________

Pat and I are doing great!  He's still a sweetheart.  If I am going to have a guy in my life,  I couldn't ask for a better one.  He is so funny, and we laugh all the time.  Humor is very important to me.  We talk and joke around and he is nice and we seem to have a mutual respect for one another.  

We went shopping the other day and he picked out a new bedding set.  A very pretty blue comforter set.  I think he has decided to go with a boating theme in his room since he is into boats.  

He also picked out a few things for his living room to decorate the walls.  {Let it be known that I didn't MAKE him buy this stuff nor did I suggest it, it was  his idea and he wanted this stuff!}


He has his son this weekend.  Cute kid.  Polite and talkative.  
I'm working, like always, so they are on their own to do lots of boy stuff.  Have fun guys!

____________________________________

Weighed in

I weighed in this morning... 233 pounds baby!!!!  I am so proud of myself!!!  Went down a size in jeans, too!!!   Hell YEAH!

I am so sleepy right now, writing this blog is making me tear up.  I am working night shift in the ER.  I didn't get enough sleep.  I cannot wait to just go home, sit under a hot shower, and then go to bed.